My destiny?

Here is another post for a long time.

Since the beginning of time that I know of, I had always wanted to write. The realization that it would someday turn into a profession was a distant prospect. Especially, after I consciously avoided my eventual destiny. All through the pangs and the pains, the confusion and the great heart break on realizing that I was whiling my life away, I consciously avoided writing. Somewhere deep in my heart I knew that this would be my deliverance. And this brings me to the crux of this post.

Sometimes in life you reach a stage where amongst the haze in life, you realize something very distinctly. Something just suddenly emerges out of the different ideas, different thought and actions. It is something that you sense is your destiny. Something that the greater power, if there was something like that, has destined for you. Something that you have been brought into this world for. Something that will make a difference to the lives of people, make them better.

For me, it has been a tough call. A call full of pain and misery. A pain which haunted me for many years. I have realized that my deliverance has to be writing. Writing for the love of it. Writing because I have to. Writing because I can’t bloody get away from it. Writing because I can’t stop being a ‘sissy’ and feel things. Writing because I can’t for the love of it - stop feeling and be cold. Writing because in the million faces and personalities I meet, I can see characters, relationships, plots, history, destiny and politics. Because my experiences are more and more pushing me to my destiny of writing. To create works of art, if they are eventually recognized to be one. Because I can’t help not doing them. Writing because the circumstances in all ways overwhelmingly push me into writing.

If this post seems like a gobbledegook, then for all means it is. These are my thoughts. The thoughts of an idealistic young man.

To you my young innocent soul! Thou shall not die!